Daddy Issues

My Little Brony

Excerpted from last week’s Ryan White & Associates newsletter. Give or take, it goes out every week. The associates (there are no associates) are playing catch up after a fantastic Sunday night. To sign up for the newsletter, click.mylittlepony

I’m Shining Armor. Sometimes the kiddo is Cadance. Other times she’s Princess Celestia, or Twilight Sparkle. But I’m always Shining Armor.

“What does Shining Armor do?” I asked the other day.

“He cleans up the Crystal Empire,” the kiddo said.

“I guess I am Shining Armor”

According to the My Little Pony wiki, Shining Armor is “a male unicorn pony, and Twilight Sparkle’s older brother.” He’s also the captain of the Royal Guard and married to Princess Cadance and things just got complicated, didn’t they? Even more so because the kiddo’s not really a Cadance, or a Twilight Sparkle. She’s clearly–given her energy, her exuberance, the chaos she kicks up–a Pinkie Pie. Can’t believe she can’t see that.

What I’m saying is I probably could pass Brony 101. No, I could definitely pass Brony 101. And I bring this up because I do a little column for Metro Parent magazine. It’s called Daddy Issues. It appears every other month.

This month, I race to keep up with the kiddo’s obsessions. Right now, she’s obsessed with nothing like she is obsessed with those pastel ponies who live in a land not unlike Westeros–geographically speaking. Replace the blood and guts with rainbows and friendship and My Little Pony is basically Game of Thrones. Twilight Sparkle is Daenerys Targaryen. Got the dragon and everything. [‘Oh, Fiddlesticks’ — Metro Parent]

Disturbingly related: Twilight Sparkle boxers for grown ass men. Is that unicorn horn, or are … oh god.

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Categories: Daddy Issues

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